Skiped school today.. thinking.... Actually I've made up my mind to drop hsc. The problem is, I just dun bare to leave my friends behind. ANd i dun even know what other corses should i risk my life taking.
If i go to lkw, well, i get to study what i want. I get to end up with what i want since last year, but thn i dun wanna come out with nothing. OK, maybe i'll end up with a cert, a piece of paper in my hand. But thn, its hard going after my dream job. I mean.. face it, we're in Malaysia. What job is there to do?? Unless I can be best of the best. Which is .... i dunno.... impossilbe i think.
Ok.. let's say i take up acca.. at least i can do some calculations. And, at least i can end up studying something which is not that difficult... I mean... compare scince to acc. I know everything is hard but, sure enough, science is way much harder thn acc. Agree??
O i should just continue to suffer?? Kill my brain.. end up with a good job, and hang on with my firneds. Friends.... I dun wanna just leave them. I mean.. i have already left them a big air bus today. I dun even know what is going throught thier minds right now. this is the worst air bus i have ever left someone in my whole life. BUt what's the point?? Going to school.. not able to think o concentrate in class?? And what's the point studying something i dun really like.. n i m bad in... Resutls show everything. I only got 29 for math ex... MAth ex is needed for engeneering... chem too... oh man.. i hate chem.. although i know i do quite well in it.. but i really hate it...
I really need to drop hsc.. but thn.. i have no idea at all what is the next step should i take. I rahter end my life here but thn its not worth it too... Just because i can't make uo my mind... i m letting so many people around me suffer... i dun wan that to continue on. I really dun.. BUt thn.. i really can't bare seeing myself suffer as ell.. i dun wanna end up studying something... n failing it in the end. I dunno.. i really can't make up my mind.
Are friends more important?? O studies are more important... Friends.... Studies.... i dunno... this is the major problem. If i can solve this problem.. i will know what step to go on next.... Should i go on doing something i hate.. just because of friends?? just because of him?? i dun think its worth it. YEah.. its not worth it at all! Y do so much for a guy who doesn't likes me at all?? Who doesn't know i like him at all??
Ok.. my mind is set.. I m leaving.. leaving hsc.... for good... i hope they really dun mind... not that im selfish n all but... i just dun get the point staying thre.. not being able to end up wif wat i want.... since i failed my sub... Would a tution teacher help?? Would leela help?? I really dunno!!! I enedee up in square one again didn't i?? I really have no idea wat to do at all!! I really need help.... really.. i do need help!
