ya.. so he came over.. i still have more but.. i don i wanna upload them here.. kinda.. reminds me wat i did the day i sent him off to the airport... well he doesn't know that... no one knows wat happened actually... thought kicking him back home.. i would feel free n would be able to focus on my exams, but thn... yeah that's wat he does best doesn't he? destroys my mood for studying... felt a sudden feeling of loneliness the day he flew home. didn't knew y, but i actually cried in the shower.. ate lk half the box of ice cream he left back for me and all the chips up... still.. no study mood...
why is it so hard to fall out of love? the moment i saw him touching down on mel i knew that the feeling would come back all over again... i just lied to myself.. saying.. he's a bastered.. get rid off him.. n whn i finally did... well... everything came back ... lk the moment he told me he didn't want to fall in love right just yet.. the aching in my heart....
we all know its not worth it to cry over such nonsense but who could resists the feeling? i used to chase him in college, tried to get rid of him after college, got together in such a far place n now.... how the hell could u get rid of him forever?? just by deleting him off every pg in ur pc doesn't really helps... trying to tell urself that other guys are way much better thn him doesn't helps, try telling urself u are way much better by urself doesn't helps either.
its abovious i'm trying to get away from him.. as i don even bother to talk to him in msn... i don want that feeling to come back all over again. but just thinking of getting rid of that feeling.. makes u fall back into that dark hole.
And after reading denise blog.. sometimes.. i wonder y do guys treat us girls so badly... u know we love u with all our heart, we never will go out for some other guy, we just wanna be with u.. that's all... that's all we ask for... for u to notice how much effort we are trying to put to make things work out between us, n u guys come in.. n just one word destroys it all.....
so is it worth it? to fall in love after all??? or is it just me?? wanting someone to be by my side for all times.. someone who i can really cry onto whn ever i feel lonely or sad... u know.. maybe having 2012 ... the end of the world isn't such a bad idea after all... at least all those bustards get wash away into the sea!!!
